The Summer Solstice marks the beginning of the summer season here, which is usually synonymous with beach vacations, bug bites, grilling, and lots of complaining about the heat :D
To me, though, Solstice marks a different, big energy shift. It's time to settle in, settle down, and ride it out. I have the sense that summertime is out of my hands. There's so much fire energy that all I can do is observe and enjoy it, and do little things around the edges to prepare for Autumn. It's a time for Being.
This is particularly relevant for me this year. The last two months have been momentous and will go down in my personal history as some of the most important times in my life. See, I quit my job! Sort of, that is.
For over 7 years I owned a pilates studio franchise that I've been struggling with since, oh, since I became the owner, for a variety of personal and professional reasons. Finally, though, I was able to come to terms with one big realization- I don't like being a business owner. I had to face that idea, accept it, and learn to remove the guilt and other pressures that say owning a business is the height of wonderfulness. After I worked through all that, all sorts of connections I thought I had suddenly became meaningless.
And just as suddenly, the universe aligned and things started happening for me. I found a new home for my pilates clients in a matter of days, after I've been searching for YEARS! Helpful people arrived unasked in my life, from customer service angels to friends bearing generous and well-timed gifts. I even won an online giveaway from one of the bloggers I follow, Philly's own Marisa McClellan.
Just like that, BOOM, I moved my pilates machines, closed the studio, shut down the old website, handed in my lease termination, and quit the franchise. Then I laughed and cried and laughed like a bad movie about crazy people!
It's been a month since starting my new position at Wholistic Fitness in North Wales PA. And I gotta say, I love working for them! Much of the transition chaos is behind me and I'm beginning to settle in, settle down, and begin my new adventures. Several times I've started to say I feel like a new person and stopped, because really I feel like my Old Self again but it's been so long since I've seen her that I've forgotten what she looked like. I am SO. HAPPY.
I apologize for being silent here for the last few months, but I couldn't write anything except blow-by-blows of what was happening to and around me. But now, for the first time as an adult I feel free, on the edge of an expansive abyss of potential that shows me glimpses of tantalizing futures. I'm so excited to move into what Deepak Chopra calls "the field of all possibilities" and finding out where I go.
Several years ago I read a story about a wise woman who, responding to a query about how she got on her personal path, said "But the path is always beneath your feet!" I've held onto that ever since, to the idea that even though I wasn't where I wanted to be I was still on my path. Now, suddenly, instead of being weedy and buggy and full of rabbit holes and fallen branches, I made a turn and found a well-groomed path, twisty and full of surprises but bordered by welcoming trees and covered by a cheerful sky. There's the path, and then there's The Path.
I don't know if I was looking for the wrong thing all those years, or if it simply wasn't the right time, but whatever changed this past Spring has been fabulous. I want to say Thank You for everyone who has helped me get here. I am so enjoying my Now, and I can't wait to see what's Next!