The three weeks since our last class, the only one we had in February, have been nothing short of momentous, however.
A few seemingly unrelated, or barely related, occurrences have contributed:
1. Just prior to that class, I had my first phone meeting with my mentor (we’ve each been paired up with one of our teachers.) She and I talked about where I am and want to go and being stuck and uncertain, and she assigned me the work of sitting with the question, “What makes my soul happy?” Maia also suggested I notice what makes me smile during the day.
Well, the answer I got was a whole lot of nothing! I have been working from a position of “have to, have to” for so long that happy didn’t matter, so long as everything is moving forward.
2. I’ve also had a strange rash on the base of my tailbone for months. I’ve been trying to figure this out- rashes=heat, it’s near my digestion but that’s definitely not hot, it’s near my spine but I noticed no sensitivities or neurological signs, I haven’t changed detergents, doesn’t seem to flare or calm based on gluten or other potential diet triggers…
3. About a month ago, I started getting massages (WHY haven’t I done this before??)
4. Maia gave us a talking to about follow through, whether it be going all the way with medicine making to design labels and define pricing, or following up with clients, or anything we begin.
And what changed? Me. Suddenly.
I put together a website (free, but a beginning.) I ordered business cards. I blended, packaged, labeled and priced 2 teas, a syrup blend, and a bath soak. I put them out for sale in my studio. I asked my massage friend about putting them in her studio. I purchased, blended, packaged... more items and put them for sale in her waiting room. I spoke to the purchaser at a local farm market where I get my CSA share, and they will carry my products too- plus a local supplier of creams, balms, and some first aid items decided to not wholesale anymore, so there’s a niche there I can fill. I left my business cards at the market, calling myself an herbalist and declaring my doors open.
And that rash? It disappeared.
Instead of a physical ailment expressing itself on the surface, now I think it was the stirrings of energy, my ‘vital force’ we’ve talked about in class beginning to rise, to expand, thanks to my finally tapping into my calling.
I’ve had a little angst around combining the work I already do with this new work. A big step, strange as it may sound, was putting both items on my new herby business cards and acknowledging it publicly in writing- I do both these things!
It also just dawned on me that I’ve been yearning for a garden, and can’t get settled enough to grow one. I decided to put an herb garden in at my studio! Obviously! There is a patch of grass right outside my door that’s bare and unwelcoming, just waiting for some lavender and calendula and something to mask the AC units. (I’ll have to think about that one.)